Waiting For Gorilla Glue to Dry..

 I love Gorilla Glue.  Really – I love it.  Once it’s cured – It’s cured.  And whatever is sticking to it, is not going to move anytime soon.  I use it a lot.  I use it a lot because there are many times I do not have the knowledge, skill, know-how or tools to solve a problem.  Case-in-point Tir naNog’s porch door.

TNN’s screened in porch has two outside doors.  One has a dead-bolt.  The other has nothing.  Which means, anyone at any time can gain access to the screened-in porch and perhaps TNN itself – if the broom-stick in the sliding door’s bottom channel doesn’t hold.  If it weren’t for the fact that Woodsmoke is a private campground with guards at the entrance, I would be a lot nervous about the door lock situation.  Even with the entrance guard, I’m still a lot nervous about the fact that I can’t completely lock myself in at night.  Or at least create a barrier that will provide some kind discouragement to would-be squatters.  Peanut’s discourage button is always on…but he’s only eight pounds. Consequently, the last winterization chore was attaching some sort of door lock. I decided on a barrel-bolt lock.

Now anyone would think that a barrel-bolt lock would be an easy install on a door.  Screw the bolt on one side.  Screw in the striker plate on the other side.  No brainer…right?  Not so much.

The door in question is not flush with the door frame.  Someone already attached a piece of hard wood to the door frame to make the door handle work flush with the frame. A simple lock installation was not going to be easy-breezy. Engineering was needed, and I am not an engineer.

As my brother the engineer has said many times, plan the work…then work the plan.  So I planned.  There were many hurdles in the plan to be hurdled.

The first hurdle to be hurdled was finding a piece of wood that matched the wood already used on the door for the handle.  No problemo. A long remnant of the original stick was in the shed.  Hard wood, same dimensions…perfect!.

I sawed off a piece of the stick that would be attached to the door frame, and serve as the receiver of the bolt.  Sawing a piece of wood was easy.  Attaching it to the door frame – not so easy.  The electric drill I have is a battery-operated affair that does not have the torque needed for heavy-duty drilling.  It works.  But it doesn’t work efficiently.  I’m also really nervous about drilling into metal.  Wood is more forgiving than metal.  The door handle piece of wood was screwed in, but it was also sealed with silicone.  I had the silicone, but I couldn’t manage the gun part of the silicone tube.  So… Gorilla Glue and a clamp made a reasonable substitute.  It took about 4 hours for the glue to cure sufficiently so that I could start Step two – which should have been Step one – Drill a hole in the wood for the bolt to slide into.  Drilling a hole in a piece of wood that is stuck to a door frame is not easy.  I don’t recommend it.  Oh-well.  After much swearing, a hole was drilled. (OH – by the way – I have a colorful vocabulary when frustrated.  It is best to give me a wide berth when I’ve reached a certain level of frustration.)

Hurdle number two (or three if you count the hole-drilling step) – rig the barrel- bolt so that it is also flush with the door frame and the newly drilled piece of wood.  I’d purchased a stick at Home Depot before leaving.  It was the correct depth, but only 1/2 the width needed.  I cut two pieces of wood from the stick, applied Gorilla Glue and a clamp, and waited  – another four hours..

Once stuck together, the newly created piece of wood was ready for the bolt part of the barrel lock.  I tried the provided screws.  They were too long for the job, and cracked the wood.  Gorilla Glue to the rescue again. Lining up the bolt with the drilled hole that was already attached to the door frame and gluing and clamping it in place is not easy. So with the help of a magic marker, a clamp and some handy-dandy Gorilla glue, the bolt part was secured to the glued-together wood fragments four hours later. (Do you see a four-hour pattern here?)

Finally – time to get the bolt and wood scrap attached to the door.  More glue.  This time the clamps weren’t much help because the attached bolt did not provide enough space for the clamp to grip properly.  And the bolt’s weight continued to drag the piece of wood with the attached bolt down toward the porch floor.  Enter in Marianne’s other favorite adhesive solution to everything – duct tape. 

Duct tape gets a bad rap from the Martha Stewarts of the world.  It’s ugly, there are other less visible solutions that blend with the décor of whatever.  Hey – duct tape has its place.  It’s durable. It’s water-proof.  It’s sticky.  It holds big stuff together. It even comes in designer colors now.  I like it.

Anyway, where a regular C – clamp didn’t work…duct tape did.  The tape held my jerry-rigged barrel-bolt-glued-to-the-pieces-of-wood thingie to the door while the Gorilla Glue cured for another four hours. 

Once cured, stuck, and firmly in place, I finally felt comfortable applying the screws to the door.  I drilled pilot holes, through the wood, into the door and completed the job!

Voila!  After at least 36 hours of frustration, a higher level of security was achieved! 

Oh – I forgot to mention – the painting step.  Not to worry.  Before I started gluing, clamping, taping and screwing pieces of wood to doors, and barrel bolts to piece of wood, I did have the foresight to paint everything the correct shade of white.  Plan the work, and work the plan! 🙂



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